Competitive Illness

Competition. We’re surrounded by it. It’s how we tend to measure success, growth, and accomplishments. We compete to get that trophy, to get into that college, make that team. Competition by itself is neither good nor bad. Humans naturally want to be the best. 

I mean, we’ve all been there. A classmate complains about how they only slept five hours last night, so, in turn, you brag about your three hours of sleep. “You’ve had two breakdowns this week? Well I’ve had five.”

This mindset is widely used among those who suffer with mental health issues. Psychotherapist Lauren Grunebaum explains this phenomenon, one she often sees among her teenage patients with an eating disorder, as an inherent want to be the “best anorexic.” The most common question she noted being asked in group therapy is “what was your lowest weight?” and she traced the origins of it to our natural inclination for competition. She managed to do this by noting the hierarchy mutually held among her anorexic and bulimic patients. A higher restriction of intake indicates a greater sense of control, which is a trait often strived for in eating disorder patients. Perfectionism clouds the minds of many, but especially impacts people with anorexia, anxiety and other disorders. 

When this mindset is accompanied by the stigma around mental health, which has led to more people sharing their story on social media platforms, the effects can be detrimental. Many people have turned to platforms like TikTok and Instagram to share their recovery stories, and, while this allows for a space where people feel comfortable opening up, it also allows for this “best anorexic” mindset to grow. Oftentimes, people share their lowest weight or amount of hospital visits, not aware of how it could affect those who are still in recovery. This activates the sense of competition held and causes one to invalidate the severity of their illness simply because it could be worse. They do not fully recognize that, as Grunebaum has so poignantly put it, “being the best at starving oneself is not a goal worth achieving.”

This does not mean we have to stop opening up about our struggles and experiences, but that we must be more careful when doing so. Recovery is a long and hard process and everyone is at different points of this process. By increasing our awareness, we can ensure less relapses and a healthier community.